Might As Well Face It
by ladyinblue6
Summary: Edward and Bella have been best friends since forever. Edward's considering to propose to Tanya, and Bella reveals some secrets that might change Edward's mind. O/s. EPoV. AH.


"So, what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Me proposing to Tanya."

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Go for it."

"You don't sound very enthusiastic."

"When have I ever been enthusiastic about Tanya, Edward?"

"You make a good point there. Anyway, I was thinking about using mom's ring."

"You're actually serious about this, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah. We've been dating for, like, three years. I love her. I'm comfortable with her."

She sighed. "Fine. I'll have it ready for you tonight."

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"Bye, Edward."

"Bye, Bella."

Bella has been my best friend since forever. We were neighbours in our little town. Then we lived in the big city together.

We're two peas in a pod. That's how my mom described us anyway. My dad flew the coop soon after I was born, leaving my mom to raise four boys. I've never met him. I don't ever want to.

Bella's the opposite of me. Her mom died while giving birth to her younger sister, Bree. I remember that day as clear as a bell, like it happened yesterday.

Charlie, Bella's dad, gave us the news. I remember not believing him. I thought I was dreaming. It didn't seem fair. Bella's mom couldn't have died. That kind of stuff didn't happen to people like us.

The next week was a blur. The funeral went by in a wink and before I knew it, things were back to 'normal.' But Bella wasn't the same ever again.

She turned into a tomboy because she started hanging out with my brother's and me way too much. Not that any of us minded. She was a great friend to have. She was up for anything and she could keep up with us, even surpassing us sometimes. Bella could still throw a harder pitch than me in baseball. She could still tackle me by surprise in football. She was the perfect best friend. Emmett, my oldest brother, even went so far as to say that she was the perfect woman.

"C'mon, you guys!" he yelled over our cackles the first time he said it. "She's funny, she plays sports, she's funny, she's smart... And on top of that, she's gunna be smokin' hot when she gets older."

Emmett's seven years older than us, so he thought it'd be inappropriate for him to start hitting on Bella when he was nineteen and she was twelve, but he called dibs on her for when she turned twenty-two as a joke.

Unfortunately or fortunately, I'm not sure which one it is, Emmett found his soul mate when Bella was only fourteen. Emmett and Bella are really close, though.

There was a time when I agreed with Emmett. I thought Bella was the perfect girl for me. I had a huge crush on her all through junior high and high school. It was almost painful. Every time I saw her kiss or flirt with another boy, my heart would seize inside my chest.

Problem was, I was too chicken shit to say anything. And Bella was set in her ways. She decided at a young age that she didn't believe in love and never would. She didn't want to fall in love, nor did she want anyone to fall in love with her. How was I supposed to express my feelings is she was saying shit like that? She would've just gotten pissed and gave me the silent treatment until I took it back, which I would've just so I could've been near her again.

Ah, the good old days.

When we moved in together, I saw it as my chance to prove my worth. But, I soon got sidetracked. Bella continued her partying ways (ie. never picking one guy, but many guys; out drinking everyone; not coming home until the sun came up, etc.), and I grew up. Quickly. I was so sick of her shit by the time Christmas came around. I started dating Tanya in the second semester of my freshmen year.

Tanya's three years older than me, and that's what drew me to her at first. We were both at a dorm party, taking care of our "immature and drunken friends." Bella was already off with her first pick of the night, so I had no one to talk to. I noticed Tanya in a similar position.

We started talking, and we exchanged numbers and tips on how to take care of drunken girls. She made me laugh, but she wasn't a nutcase, like Bella. She was pretty in the generic way, not in the unique way, like Bella. She was book smart, but not common sense smart, like Bella.

She was everything that Bella wasn't. And that's what sold me on the deal. I wanted to get over Bella as quickly as possible, and Tanya was my ticket.

We started dating. I moved in with her for my second year of university. We fell in love. We made love. And I successfully got over Bella.

Now we were going to get engaged.

My mom was a huge part of my life. Bella's, too. Since Bella really didn't have a mother-like figure in her life, my mom took over. She helped her through puberty (I know this because I listened to their conversation through the door), she helped her get ready for dances, she gave her the sex talk. My mom was an important part in Bella's life.

Unfortunately, my mom contracted cancer when I was only fifteen. By the time they caught it, it was too far gone for them to do much about it. They tried radiation and chemo. They even tried some experimental drug.

But, by the time my sixteenth birthday rolled around, my mom was on her death bed.

All of us surrounded her in the hospital at all hours of the day. Charlie, Bella, Bree, and my brothers and I were there all the time, taking shifts.

Bella and I had our shift together every time. We were in the room with mom when she took her last breaths.

"Bella, I want you to take care of my engagement ring," she rasped, holding the ring out to Bella.

Bella's lip was trembling and her eyes were filled with tears that she wasn't willing to shed.

"Esme," Bella whispered in a tear-choked voice, "I-I can't-"

"No, honey," my mom insisted, "you need to take care of it for Edward. You keep it until Edward's ready to use it. Please, baby."

Bella nodded, her first tear spilling over.

"And, Edward?" my mom murmured, looking at me with a soft smile. "You take care of my baby girl, okay?"

I bit my lip and nodded, hiding my tears from Bella.

"I love you both," she told us before closing her eyes and falling asleep for the last time.

The only time Bella and fought was when we talked about Tanya.

Bella hated Tanya. Every single thing about her. Bella thought Tanya was condescending. Bella thought Tanya was snotty. Bella hated her because she was different from us.

Tanya was raised in the city, we were from the country. That was the main difference that irritated Bella.

"City kids are different," Bella would always say with a disgusted look on her face. "They act, dress, and talk stupid."

"Not stupid, different," I'd remind her every time.

"Same fucking difference, Edward," she'd retort.

Tanya didn't exactly like Bella either.

"She's a bitch," she told me one day.

My brow furrowed. "Don't say that, Tanya."

"Well, she is," she replied matter-of-factly, looking at her nails.

"She's my best friend. You can't just say that. I don't appreciate it."

"Well, I don't appreciate her flirting with you."

I snorted. "Bella does not flirt with me, Tanya."

"Yes she does," she chirped. "And you flirt right back."

I shook my head, but in the back of my mind, I knew that was exactly what we did. We had always done it though. We'd purposely wrestle with each other just to have an excuse to touch. We'd hold hands while walking down the street just to be sure that the other wasn't running away. We'd call each other in the middle of the night, drunk as hell, just to tell the each other "I love you" before we went to bed.

Because we both knew life was too short to not wear your heart on your sleeve.

Bella answered the door without greeting me. I knew she was pissed. A almost didn't blame her. If she decided that she was going to get engaged to the guy she was currently "with," but not dating, I'd be pissed off, too. That guy, James I think his name was, was a douche bag. I had not one good thing to say about it.

So, I guess I knew where Bella was coming from.

"Where's James?" I asked as I walked into her living room, flopping down on the couch, putting my feet on the coffee table.

"We're not together anymore," Bella muttered as she moved her homework off of the couch and turned down her music.

"Oh, why not?" I asked, pretending to actually care what happened to the douche.

Bella smiled at me, her hands on her hips and her head tilted to the side. Her body language asked me, "Why do you think?"

I nodded, grinning. "Right."

She chuckled before going into her bedroom. She came out seconds later, a sadder look on her face, a tiny black box in her hands.

Bella sat down beside me, biting her lip, looking at the little black box sadly.

I sighed. "I know this isn't easy. It's definitely not easy for me. I don't know if I even want to give Tanya this. It just doesn't feel right."

Bella nodded, still holding her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Why don't you just keep it?" I offered, pushing her hand away from me. "It should stay with you." I smiled sadly, catching Bella's eyes by tilting her chin up with my hand. "I know for a fact that mom was hinting that I should propose to you when we were old enough when she gave you that ring. I want you to keep it."

Bella shook her head, the tears falling down her cheeks. "No, you take it."

I sat on my hands.

She sighed exasperatedly before setting the box in my lap. "Seriously, Edward. She wasn't my mom. It was her ring. She wanted you to have it."

"Well, now I have it," I said, picking up the box and opening it, pulling the ring out and sliding it on Bella's finger, "and I want you to have it."

Bella burst into tears. I hadn't seen her cry since her dog died when we were eighteen, and even that was nothing compared to this. I hadn't ever seen her cry that hard.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her onto my lap, letting her dampen my shirt.

She was practically hyperventilating she was crying so hard.

"It still hurts," she wailed, her fist clumping my shirt. "I miss her so much, Edward. It still hurts like it did when she died."

My throat tightened and tears welled in my eyes. "I know," I whispered. "It still hurts me, too."

Bella looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes and wet cheeks. "I just..." she looked down again. "Never mind."

"No, you can tell me," I encouraged her, running my hand through her hair. She shivered.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered.

"I know, I love you too, Bella," I replied, kissing her forehead.

"No, Edward, I'm _in_ love with you," she repeated, still refusing to look at me. Her lip trembled again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't say that. You're getting engaged. Never mind. Forget it."

I was in shock. "No. No."

"Yeah, I'm sorry," she repeated, untangling herself from me and standing, wiping her hands over her face. "I didn't mean it. I...I don't know what came over me. Crying isn't good for anything."

She turned to go into the kitchen. I watched her retreating figure and listened to her sob in the kitchen while my mind tried to figure out what was going on.

Bella was in love with me? _How_? And if she was, she certainly didn't fucking show it well.

Did it matter to me? Fuck yeah it did. This could break us. Could it make us, though? Was I willing to give up stability for Bella? Was I willing to let go of my mature girlfriend for my crazy best friend?

My mind automatically said yes, but my heart was a little more hesitant. My heart had been broken by Bella before. And it hurt more than anything else in the world. Bella had all the power to break me, whether she knew it or not.

I wondered if I had the same power. And if I did, was I willing to break Bella like she had broken me in high school?

No. I couldn't do that to her.

I hauled my ass off of her couch five minutes after the confession and followed Bella into the kitchen.

She was leaning over the kitchen, trying to control her crying.

"Bella?" I asked quietly, brushing my hand over her back. "Can we talk?"

"Don't," she begged. "I know you don't love me back. It's okay. Just...just don't say it, okay? It'll hurt too much."

My heart ached. I did have that power. And there was no way in hell I was going to break her.

"No, Bella, listen," I murmured, leaning over the sink next to her, trying to get her to look at me. "How long?"

"What?" she asked, glancing at me and then looking down again.

"How long have you been in love with me?"

She laughed. "God, I don't know how long. Probably since I was eleven."

I blinked. "Are you fucking serious?"

She nodded, her smile crumbling. "Yeah. Seriously."

"But, you gave me all those rants on how you would never fall in love with anyone-"

Bella laughed again. "I don't know why, but I got in my head that if I said I would never fall in love, you'd want me. I saw Jasper date girls and then dump them right after they told him they loved him. I didn't want you to ever dump me, so I said I didn't believe in love, even though I was in love with you."

"Fuuuck," I cursed, running my hands through my hair. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Are you fucking crazy?" she asked, standing up straight. "Are you deaf? I just told you why not."

I gave her a pained look. "Bella, I fell head over heels for you when we were, like, twelve. I loved you so much it caused me physical pain."

Bella closed her eyes, more tears falling. She swallowed before opening them again.

"Why didn't _you_ tell me?" she whispered.

"Well, I was a little intimidated by you when you gave me speeches on how love was stupid and you would never fall in love," I replied. "How could I tell you I loved you when I thought you didn't believe in love?"

"I don't know," she mumbled, crossing her arms and shrugging. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," I murmured.

We were silent for a few seconds, not looking at each other, just thinking.

"I guess the question is whether you still love me or not," Bella finally stated. Her eyes were clear again, although her cheeks were still wet. "And whether you're actually in love with Tanya."

"I love Tanya," I told her. Her face crumbled and she sagged considerably. I thought she was going to fall to her knees. Tears flowed again, but she was silent in her agony. "But, I love you more."

"What?" she whispered, her voice choked with tears.

"I'm still in love with you, Bella," I repeated. "I love you more than Tanya."

She started sobbing, but her eyes were happy and surprised. She stood up and walked over to me jumping into me and catching my lips with her own. Our tears comingled between our cheeks and our teeth clacked violently together. my arms were tight around her waist and her hands were twined in my hair.

My mom would've been so proud.

* * *

_This was originally done with some of my orginal characters, and then I kind of wanted to share it on here, too, so I just quickly changed the names, hah._

_I started off writing something that was inspired by "Addicted to Love" by Florence + the Machine, and then this came out instead._

_Hope you enjoyed it. :)_


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